a cool and creative title

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police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!
me: not with that attitude

(Source: cedriciswatching, via the-queen-of-sass)

g-iggle:

you deserve to smile. this is here for you when you want to laugh again.

friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?
the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.